


Hummingbird Girl

by VickeyStar



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Questions Reality, This is weird, This is what happens, Until it does, What Is Gender?, but this never will, so have fun with that, that makes no sense, that we like, this makes no sense, what is normal?, when we find a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 08:32:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15069269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VickeyStar/pseuds/VickeyStar
Summary: The message here is very confusing. Honestly, I don’t completely believe that anyone, even the hummingbird girl, understood what was happening.





	Hummingbird Girl

**Author's Note:**

> So.   
> Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency.   
> Great Show. Makes no sense.   
> Two seasons, 18 episodes in total.   
> Got cancelled recently but we all know cancellations can be revoked if people make enough noise so please.   
> Make noise.   
> We would, but we don't have twitter and we don't have cellphones (don't ask) and that's like. The only way to get Twitter which is kinda stupid.   
> But yeah, this makes no sense.   
> Enjoy!   
> ~SleevesCakes/VickeyStar

The message here is very confusing. Honestly, I don’t completely believe that anyone, even the hummingbird girl, understood what was happening.

This is one of those lives that people live where everyone has questions, no one has answers, and whenever something goes right, another thing goes wrong, until down is up and black is white and red is purple and blue is orange and—

Slow down.

Sorry about that, I got mixed up in the colors, they’re just so distracting, when I think of it, swirling around my head like they’ve got nowhere else to be, which.

They do.

Oh, look! Off they go, to sink into books and eyes and children’s minds as they learn and see and breathe what this world, this magical, wonderful world has to offer.

Isn’t it just… fantastic? Magnificent, fantasmagical? I can’t decide on a word to describe this, so I shall choose them all! Only the good ones, of course, because, oh!

I’ve found the word!

 _Good_.

Yup, that’s it.

That’s what this world is.

This world is good.

Simple!

That’s unusual. As you may be able to tell, I’m not used to what people call ‘normal’, or ‘simple’, or anything else along those lines.

Speaking of, what even is _normal_? What you do every day?   
Because while that may be normal to you, it probably isn’t normal to others, and when one person changes their routine, why is it called the new normal? What does this mean? Everyone everywhere has their own version of _normal_ , and when another person sees it, they call it _weird_. Like theirs is any different!

Well.

It probably is.   
But only in the _physical_ actions sort of way, I’m talking about the _fundamental_ stuff.   
You do things that others don’t do.

This is your normal.

Everyone has their own normal.

But what does that _mean_?   
Aha!

What if _normal_ isn’t real?

What if we are all just a bunch of idiots (oops, sorry, didn’t mean that as an insult, there) bumbling around this good world and trying to be something that doesn’t exist?

 _Normal_. It’s a concept.

That’s the truth.

It is fake, it is a dream, it is a thousand—No. A billion things, all at once, and at the same time it is nothing at all.

A lot of things are like that.

Like gender, for example. There isn’t any kind of deciding thing in our brains that can tell us what gender we are, at least, not one we’ve found just yet.

I could be whatever gender I feel comfortable being, and it just so happens that I feel comfortable as I am.   
Others could be whomever they want.

A he, a she, a they, even an animal, but that last one would likely involve a soul switching machine that was actually an infinite energy machine that was actually a time travel machine from I think the eighteen hundreds, but I think we’re all a little unclear about that, still.   
There were arguably four of this machine, all the same one but from different times, with different adventures, yet existing all at the same time, at certain points in… well, time.

If you find one, which I really don’t mean offense when I say that I really don’t hope that you do, be sure not to use it. Leave it _alone_.

I don’t know how curious you may be, just focus on your… what was it called?

That thing, that you always say that I don’t have?

Oh, right. Focus on your… _self-preservation instincts_ , whatever _those_ may be, and leave it alone.

Unless they’re telling you to mess with it.   
Them.

It.   
Whatever.

Point is, don’t mess with the machine, whatever variation of it you find.

That brings new problems, with time travel, soul switching—Honestly it was a big mess all on its own, with its twists and turns, one of the more confusing cases that the Universe pulled me into.

Anywhoo~

Huh.

I appear to have forgotten exactly what I was trying to say at the beginning of this little. Thing.

Oh! Yes! The hummingbird girl! You must be quite confused about that, I assume.

Well, I am basing that off of my own experience, and his experience, and we were both very confused, so that leads me to the assumption that others would be confused as well.

So.

The hummingbird girl.

She had nothing to do with hummingbirds, much to the surprise of my assist-friend, which confused me.   
Of course she has nothing to do with hummingbirds, why he would jump to that conclusion and have to ask if she was is beyond me.

What do you mean, it makes no sense, it makes _perfect_ sense—Alright. I see your point, but—

Fine.

But yes, anyways, she actually found me for a reason.

She had a message for me.

Well, not _for me_.

But for you!

And I’m supposed to tell you this message—Hang on, let me find it.

Hey, assist-friend? Do you know where the—Yes, I know what your name is, but I think that we wouldn’t want that to get on this little message of what you would call nonsense, we have no idea where this is going, or who would see it!

Anyways, can you hand me the—Yes, that, thanks.

Okay.

So, the message is—


End file.
